The Difference

It's hard for a high school boy such as myself to figure out the difference between lust and love, hormones or real attraction. So, I wrote this one describing my struggle. (Plus a girl said she thought I didn't know the difference anyhow)

The Difference

I’m what you’d call a guy

A male if you will

I have these things called hormones

They make it so when a girl passes by I get a chill

I’ll start to think that she’s nice smelling

And when I talk to her I’ll get this funny feeling

A sort of mix between wanting to break out in a seizure

And taking a walk in the park at my leisure

It’s a miniature explosion of feelings to be sure

As if North Korea’s nukes have finally gone on tour

And then my mind is shattered

The fragments splintering and scattered

Every undesirable, every indescribable

And I am left unrecognizable

A mere shell of what person I thought myself to be

The shadow of a boy who I once knew as me

But... what I’m feeling now is similar and yet different

I do have those feelings and I still lose my mind

But I’ve also become blind

My eyes have been reassigned

To see only certain things, certain someones

Or rather only one

A sole object or entity that dominates the control of my vision

Then my life becomes a prison

Where all my thoughts can no longer be precision

To be more specific, they are stuck in position

Not to be unfixed or refocused

Irregardless of the force by which I have purposed

I am living only knowing that I can’t stop thinking

That my every thought is controlled

No matter how wild or how bold

That I can’t be cooled no matter how cold

For the fire that rages is burning with a feverish hold

The flame of desire that ignites within me

Nothing comes even close to this degree

With which I wish I could have her

My whole world is just a blur

She’s here, now not

Cold shower, still hot

It’s not a roll of quarters in my pants

I swear that was an accident, it happened by chance

And I doubt she spends a single moment with me in her thoughts

I’m but another blot in a sea of dots

My thoughts may consume me

While hers are left unaffected and free

Even if we’re just having fun

She seems to be the first to have to run

Then I’m left alone, her playful aura fading

I sit there, thinking, waiting

Maybe she’ll be back and comment on how lonely I look

Or maybe tell me I should take a note from her book

That it’s unhealthy to be so obsessed

To act as I do, like I’ve been possessed

And I tell her I know

That she shouldn’t worry and just go

Cause maybe if she’s happy I’ll be happy

Even if that thought alone was desperate and crappy

I think I need some air

I should probably go elsewhere

Because dwelling on it too much

Is quite troublesome and such

She even asked me once if I knew the difference

Between the hormones that lust for touch

And love, if I even wanted her that much